Happiness

So Desi Brigit Jones has been under a bit of a bad spell of late. I realize that the trick to happiness is to be happy no matter what – irrespective of the job or boyfriend (or lack of!) or outer circumstances. Yup, the idea is to ‘be happy for no reason’. And some people actually have made a living out of it – making people happy. There is some pretty inspirational stuff out there on the internet - except that right now I don't feel like being inspired. I feel like my whole life seems to be this run on a treadmill to nowhere. Why are we running – to be fulfilled or make a difference or to feel we’ve done something useful in life, but ultimately it is to just be happy.

Reminds me of this Vikram Seth poem I read long ago and loved:

Voices in my head,
Chanting ‘Kisses, Bread,
Prove yourself, Fight, Shove,
Learn, Earn, Look for love’
Stills a lesser voice,
Silent now of choice:
‘Breathe in peace and be
Still for once - like me’

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Brigit: You know God, that ‘still, quiet’ voice that you apparently use to speak to me? I can’t freaking hear it!!

God: Ok…. Watch the profanity child; you’re talking to the almighty!

Brigit: Sorry, I’ll wash my mouth with holy water. But still,  why can’t I hear you?

God: Because you expect to hear me in a particular way! Even if I shouted out in thunder you wouldn’t hear me because you have these notions about the way I’m supposed to be.

Brigit: Hrmmp!

God: What makes you think I’m not speaking to you now?

Brigit: Half the time I wonder whether I’m talking to myself

God: Maybe you are; maybe I am you

Brigit: Now that is quite blasphemous you know – to think of myself as God.

God: Well, maybe it’s about recognizing the divinity in oneself.

Brigit: I don’t know about that. I can’t quite see God in myself right now; I’m feeling grouchy and weepy and whiney and want a chocolate latte! Can you imagine – God going down to the Café to get a chocolate Latte?!

God: Chocolate Latte! My favorite drink!

Brigit: Hrmmp!