The art of seduction

So the best way to get around the ‘enemy’ or in this case ‘the target man’ is to understand the way his mind works.  Desi Brigit Jones, being such a late entrant into the dating world and coming from an era that is reminiscent of her grandmother’s world, decided it was time to take tips from her male buddies. What would I do without these gems in my life? Yes, the one thing every single woman needs, in addition to her girlfriends is her best guy friend.  Who else do you call to answer your umpteen questions on dating and man problems but another guy? And thankfully I have more than one man’s brain to chew out on my love problems.

So, my buddy, Baldwin, listens to me whining on about my love interest and responds to my breathless “So what do you think?!” with a cryptic “He’s just trying to get laid, the signs are all there!” Of course, I protest and go on about how this guy has to be the one, because I sense a ‘connection’ and I’m sure he wants a relationship etc. only to call Baldwin a week later to admit he was right all along. “See –I told you so!” is the smug response.  

Then of course is the inevitable advice “Go slow”.  Yes, Desi Brigit Jones came from an era when binary numbers were still the norm – it was either 0 or 1, you liked him or you didn’t and you showed up accordingly.  The modern world has unfortunately moved to ‘fuzzy logic’ so there is no black or white, just varied shades of grey (Fifty shades of Grey to be precise!), as you move along the path from stranger to partner.   

As Baldwin patiently explained to me, “Go Slow” means not responding to his text the moment you get it, never mind that you’ve been looking at your phone for the past 4 hours wondering why he hasn’t responded to you yet.

Last weekend, Baldwin’s response to my exasperated “Why, oh why would he want to watch cricket on a Saturday night instead of go to the movies with me?” was an incredulous “Duh!”

Well, the easy part is the external action (like not responding to his text till after 20 minutes); the tough part is getting my fuzzy brain to think logically. And that is why for an emotional woman, it helps to get a guy’s perspective on the weird things men do in the dating game.

So when Baldwin suggested reading the ‘Art of Seduction’ from askmen.com, I decided to do just that. Maybe it would help me understand the moves of the current young man who one day sends me dozens of messages that are peppered with subtle and not so subtle innuendos and then goes incommunicado for a full month.  I read the article end to end, not just once but twice!  Hmm - evidently my current love interest, who is funny and confident and cocky has not just read the ‘art of seduction’, he has probably got a PhD on this topic. He is in technical seduction terms ‘a player’.

I must say that while it is a little mortifying to look back and see all the ploys that I fell for, part of me thinks it’s a pity I read this article right now. I was rather enjoying the whole process of being seduced, of being made to believe I was ‘the most interesting and attractive woman’ on planet earth, not to mention intergalactic space.  

Sigh – indeed there is some truth to the old adage “Ignorance is Bliss”. I realize eye opening articles are not so great when you don’t want to have your eyes opened.  Hrmmp!

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Brigit: So speaking of seduction, tell me, did Jesus really have something going on with Mary Magdalene? I mean, c’mon there can’t be any smoke without fire and there have been movies and books suggesting such a liaison.

God: Well, I don’t know; Jesus is not the kind of guy who’ll kiss and tell.  

Brigit: Hmm – smart move. That’s my policy too!